So, these new pants that I've seen on some teenage boys ... the ones that are skin-tight from ankle to crotch, but the crotch is slung about a foot too low... I noticed these today and thought, WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! It combines the worst of the skin-tight look from the 80's, with the worst of the pants-on-the-ground look from the 90's (both of which, I'm ashamed to say, I did wear at times during those decades). It looks exactly like the guy is wearing a full diaper, under sweatpants two sizes too small for him. Trust me, I know; I've spent the last ten years changing diapers for a living, and pants that look like that always mean half a container of wipes will be needed.
Who the hell saw that at a fashion show and said to himself, "God, yes, I'll be SO hot in the I-outgrew-them-then-shat-them look"? What designer thought this would sell? And why, against all reason, are they selling?
Then I thought, I must be getting old. Only been a daddy four months today, and already I'm practicing the "kids these days" and "what the hell are you wearing?" speeches in my head.
And then I thought, dear God, I can just about reconcile myself to the fact that my daughter will someday find teenage boys attractive (as horrifying as that is, I can accept it as inevitable). But please, please tell me she won't find them attractive IN THOSE PANTS. Please tell me that, if she turns to her friends and says "Damn, I'd love to tear those pants off him", the next words out of her mouth will be "so I can burn them. Preferably on consecrated ground, so that their evil can be thoroughly purged, and will defile the living world no more." Because, if this is a world in which people actually think those pants look good, I'm not sure I want to raise a child here. Can I book a flight on the earliest colony ship to Mars? At least no one will expect spacesuits to be considered attractive. I hope.
So, maybe I'm getting old. Old enough to realize that my parents were right about spiked hair, mullets, and phat pants; and THEIR parents were right about bellbotttoms and polyester disco suits. Old enough to understand a truth that holds even in such a trivial, meaningless thing as fashion: Just because an idea is new, doesn't mean it's good. Just because it hasn't been tried before, doesn't necessarily mean it should be tried now.
© John M. Munzer
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Hahaha! I know what you mean John. Il look at the women who walk around with their butt crack showing and have the same reaction. I did wear bell bottoms and hip huggers in the 70's but also was modestly covered. Everything changes and eventually the old styles come back again.Polyester suits were ugly in retrospect, but they did not wrinkle! Now natural fibers are in, but they get wrinkled in 2 minutes. I have learned to wear what I like, what feels comfortable, and don't care what is in style. OMG I have become like my mother!That isn't really a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I have had exactly similar thoughts, John. So we must both be getting old"er". My neighbor has a 16 year old son who wears those pants, and I CRINGE each time I see him and pray to God that they are out of style by the time my girls hit the dating age because I'm not sure I could let such a boy into my house. lol
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