Behavior is about hunger

Behavior – ALL behavior – is an attempt to feed a hunger.

The simplest protozoa engage in behaviors. They move around seeking food, water, other protozoa to mate with, shelter … things that they are HUNGRY for. And they engage in whatever behavior gets them the most food for the least effort.

More complex animals have more complex hungers, and more complex behaviors to meet those hungers. There is a hunger for companionship, a hunger for safety, a hunger for touch, a hunger for belonging, a hunger for stimulation, a hunger for control, a hunger for relief from physical pain.

Then there are the hungers which, as far as we know, are uniquely human. The hunger to be part of something bigger and more important than ourselves, the hunger for purpose, the hunger for a future that is better than the present, and the hunger for relief from emotional pain.

People do not begin eating out of dumpsters when they are full of good food. People begin eating out of dumpsters when they are hungry and don’t think they’ll be able to get food any other way. People who have had to eat out of dumpsters may even continue doing so after they’ve started living in a place where there’s three meals available every day, because they’ve learned that they can never trust that their hunger will be filled - they’ve learned that they will always HAVE to dumpster-dive at every opportunity.

Likewise, people do not engage in excessive drinking, theft, violence, unsafe sex, self-harm, manipulation, or other harmful behaviors when their hungers for stimulation, comfort, security, control, attention, and touch are already satisfied. People do these things because they are starving and don’t believe they can meet these needs any other way. Even when they live in a place where better options are available, the behaviors may continue quite some time, because they’ve learned that they will always HAVE to do these things in order to feed their hungers.

It takes a LOT of time to unlearn a behavior that used to be necessary to feed a hunger. And the one thing that absolutely will NOT help is to try and force the person to give up a behavior that they feel they NEED in order to feed that hunger. The only chance they have is to learn a new behavior that feeds them better, more reliably, more often, and with less effort.

Imagine a feral dog that has no food is chewing on one of your shoes. If you want that shoe back, do NOT try to pry it out of the dog’s mouth. He’ll tear your arm off. Instead, show the dog a chunk of steak. The dog will drop the shoe and run to eat the steak instead. If he runs back to grab the shoe after bolting down the steak, it doesn’t mean the steak plan was the wrong method. It means the dog still needs more steak.

In the fields that attempt to improve human behavior – psychology, social work, teaching, child care, ministry - our job is not to force people to drop the shoe. Our job is to show the person where the steak is. Show them a better way to feed their hungers, and they’ll drop the old way on their own.


© John M. Munzer