Reminiscing

June 1st, 1995
An old song, a familiar lost smell that brings such longing you have to reach back.
Things half-remembered, good and bad, come back from Then and are Now again – first hazy, then wonderfully or terribly clear and real, depending on what happened and on the choices you made. But either way there’s a pang of regret that you can’t bring it back – either to do the things you left undone, or to feel and do and be what you felt and did and were back then.
A sweet moment you want to catch and hold forever, an old scar exploding into fresh pain (and still bleeding); the Book that tastes like honey in the mouth but is bitter to the stomach; remembering only now all you should have done but didn’t, all you shouldn’t have done but did, and how much you miss her, and how you lost that chance to change his life for the better; and where did all the time go? Why didn’t you spend more of it on the things that mattered?
“Why didn’t I”s and “It might have been”s tumble over “I remember when”s and “Wasn’t that beautiful?” That time of perfect harmony with a friend you never talk to anymore; that bitter hatred you held Then against your best friend Now; no excuses because it’s been so long you don’t need them anymore, only the plain truth as it was and never can be again.
You close the Book, having had too much honey-and-gall; you think maybe you’ll go call that person but you really know better; you know an hour of Now will wipe away an eternity of Then, and you’ll forget all over again until the next time the Book calls to you from the shelf, to be opened and lived again as it opens you and reminds you once more that your life is short and daily growing shorter, that there’s no room for false pretences and no time for hesitating. The wheel turns on, with neither pity nor malice, but it will not wait.

© John M. Munzer

Oops, we did it again

(Time to find another sweet, fresh-faced kid to destroy)

A parent of an 8-year-old girl just showed me the video that turned her and her kid off from Miley Ray Cyrus. Apparently, she REALLY wants the world to know she’s 18 now. When other kids turn 18 and declare their independence from their parents and their right to be sexual beings, they aren’t doing so on national media. But Miley Ray’s entire life has been on national media, so naturally she knows no other way to take this step except by dressing like a dominatrix and writhing in a birdcage.

Of course, the obvious parallels are getting drawn to Britney, Lindsay, and all the other sweet kid stars who grew up and decided to break their “wholesome” image as hard as they could. And of course, everyone says how sad that their kids’ heroine is going slutty now and is no longer a positive role model.

What we ought to realize, though, is this:

IT’S OUR DAMN FAULT.

We’ve always known that kids do not have good impulse control – that’s why they have parents. We’ve always known that money and fame can turn even responsible, fully-developed adults into irresponsible adolescents. And we’ve known for decades how particularly toxic the life of a child star is to that child. Before the teenage girls started doing it, Michael Jackson’s sad life was more than enough proof that a kid who grows up being a star, never actually gets to grow up. And we knew in advance that there was no way these kids would be capable of understanding and carrying the responsibility of being good role models, because they were too young.

BUT WE KEPT BUYING THEIR CD’S AND VIDEOS FOR OUR KIDS.

If there was no money to be made in exploiting cute kids and attractive (but immature) young adults, then Ms. Lohan might not be in court right now. Ms. Spears might not have hurt her kids. The Olsen girl might not have become anorexic. Michael might still be alive and making good music, and might not have become an addict and a pedophile. And Miley might be working to become an actual musician, instead of a soft-core porn star.

BUT WE KEPT BUYING THE DAMN CD’S.

If you don’t want your kids to have disappointing role models, and don’t want kids like Miley to grow up and become adults like Britney, then STOP BUYING THE DAMN CD’S. If you let these kids be exploited when they’re 12, they’ll start exploiting themselves when they’re 18. Point your kids in the direction of role models who are actually worth emulating – people who have talents besides cuteness. Spend time doing stuff with your kids instead of letting them watch the fucking Disney Channel. Cut off the money that feeds the problem, and the problem will end.

America:

We made them.

We destroyed them.

Shame on us.

© John M. Munzer