Evangelicals, abuse, and how the former can work to stop the latter

 

I saw an article posted on an Evangelical friend’s page today. And I cannot BELIEVE that I’m about to post a link to something from Focus on the Family, still less that I’m posting it because they are 100% RIGHT in what they said. But here we are:

 

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/how-to-know-if-youre-in-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship/?refcd=1085104&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=schmit_2021&A15utm_content=article&fbclid=IwAR19NdGOifVi3ULVJ19PEEcw3pPQ6bOO0GdvlySR23I_kGWnnNGrc8qoe0I

 

Let’s begin by saying: This article is a BIG step in the right direction for Evangelicals, and I want to give credit where it’s due. This article is a GOOD thing. Teaching women to recognize abuse, and that it’s okay to get out of an abusive relationship, is a GOOD thing. Teaching Evangelical women that domestic abuse violates the core principles of Christian Scripture, that abuse is a blasphemy against a God who is love – that’s a GOOD thing. The fact that it’s coming from such a conservative source as Focus on the Family indicates that even the people most reluctant to change their thinking are starting to do so, and that’s a good thing.

 

This article indicates that Evangelicals are taking a step in the right direction.

 

Having said that, I want to encourage them to take the logical next step…

 

Because if this article only teaches Evangelical women about the dangers of abuse from an individual man, but does NOT acknowledge the ways that Evangelical teaching and culture increase the risk of abuse, then the authors are straining at a gnat but swallowing a camel.

 

If Evangelical women and men are still being taught about “headship” and “complementarianism” and that women must obey their husbands in all things… then Evangelicalism is setting people up for abuse.

If Evangelical teen girls are still being preached at about modesty, but Evangelical teen boys are still not being preached at about consent… then Evangelicalism is setting people up for abuse.

If Evangelicals are still being taught that divorce is never okay unless one of the partners has been proven to have had sex with someone else… then Evangelicalism is setting people up for abuse.

If Evangelical parents are still being taught that they must hit their children in order to force obedience… then Evangelicalism is setting people up for abuse.

If Evangelical parents are still being taught to reject and even disown their children if their kids turn out to be LGBTQ… then Evangelicalism is setting people up for abuse.

If Evangelical men are still being taught that they must establish dominance and control in their families in order to properly fulfill their role as husbands and fathers… then Evangelicalism is setting people up for abuse.

If Evangelicals continue to insist that abortion is never okay, even when a girl or woman has been raped, and therefore that the needs of a girl or woman are not as important as protecting the genetic material of a rapist… then Evangelicalism is setting people up for abuse.

 

It’s GOOD to take the first step of acknowledging that abuse is wrong, teaching women (who are the most likely victims of abuse) to recognize it, avoid it, and escape it. This is definitely a step in the right direction.

I hope Evangelicals will soon realize that the next step is to examine the ways their official and unofficial doctrine sets men up to feel okay with committing abuse, and sets women and kids up to accept abuse; and that they will start working to fix those things.