The Space Orcs of Space Orcs

 "Oh hork oh hork oh hork oh hork oh hork we are so horking HORKED!"

The Copplian first mate had never seen zir captain afraid of ANYTHING, and was shocked to see the triumphant body langauge shift so suddenly into abject terror.

"Captain, what's wrong?"

"First mate, the vessel we just captured has a HUMAN aboard!"

NOW it was clear why the captain was terrified. But, surely...

"But surely, captain, the stories must be exaggerated. They CAN'T be as dangerous as the legends say."

"Have you been to their homeworld?"

"Negative, captain."

"I have. I was there on the first recon missions before contact was made. Our suits were just barely capable of withstanding the toxic and corrosive atmosphere the humans breathe. We landed in a place the Terrans call "Florida". I observed one of the humans engaged in a sport called "gator wrestling". An animal several times larger than the human, with a bite force in excess of eight THOUSAND Newtons ... and the human had wrestled it into submission. Humans had learned that the muscles which CLOSE the beast's jaws are incredibly powerful, but the muscles which OPEN the jaws are far weaker. And afterwards, the humans were EATING chunks of alligator. Coated in capsaicin, which is TOXIC to humans. And showing every sign of enjoyment. You see, humans are not as strong as we are, nor as numerous, nor as intelligent, but they are unrivalled at two things: Surviving impossible odds, and finding ways to exploit the weaknesses of much more powerful enemies."

"But sir, as you say, we have every possible advantage. Our ship is faster and more powerful, our weapons are more powerful, we are physically larger and stronger and faster, we are more intelligent. We can easily destroy this one human."

"One, certainly. But are you prepared to force our species to fight eight BILLION Death Breathers? I also learned something else about humans: They have practiced their skill of defeating more powerful enemies by fighting the most terrifying possible opponents."

"The Gloxxan? Five meters high with leaden exoskeletons and mandibles that can slice through metal?"

"No, worse. OTHER HUMANS. You have perhaps heard that there are many tribes of humans, and that they used to fight each other before learning that there were other intelligent species in the universe?"

"Yes, sir."

"And you have, perhaps, heard of the Russians?"

Now the first mate grew, if possible, even more terrified than the captain. "The human aboard the vessel we captured is RUSSIAN? The humans that burned their own city to the ground in order to ensure that the invaders would freeze to death?"

"No, First Mate. This human is not Russian, and I would NOT advise you to refer to her as such in her presence. Do you see the yellow and blue symbol on her torso? That means she is UKRAINIAN."

There was a long silence as the First Mate digested this information. 

Then:

"Unconditional surrender and abject apology, sir?"

"Unconditional surrender and, as you say, abject apology, First Mate."