Make a wish

 

Other stories have been told of what would happen in a comic book world if a kid asked the Make-a-Wish foundation for a chance to meet a super-villain instead of a superhero. This is the story of what happened when a child asked to meet Doctor Gene Splicer…

 

Chapter 1

“Say that again, but make sense this time.”

“Okay, Doctor, but it’s the same message as before. The word got put out that a kid at the hospital wants to meet you, and considers this his last request. Apparently he’s really fascinated by genetic research, and he knows that you’re light-years ahead of everyone else in the field.”

Doctor Gene Splicer stared at nothing for a full minute, trying to process the idea that anyone, let alone a child, actively WANTED to meet him and talk with him. (Other than law enforcement, naturally, and of course the Masked Vigilante).

“And the usual agreement in these cases will hold? The police and the so-called heroes will make no attempt to arrest or follow me as long as I am not an immediate threat?”

“Correct. You will do nothing to endanger anyone, and the enforcers of the law will in turn do nothing to inhibit you. It will be a truce. And as you must know, the one time a villain broke the truce, he was hunted down and – ”

“Yes, we all know what happened to him” the Doctor interrupted hastily. “I saw the results. It was quite understandable, but not even Dread Lord Painmaker would have taken it quite so far as The Caseworker did. I may someday forget the image of The Bowery Bastard’s remains, but not any time soon.”

“They never did find his other ear, did they.”

“No… no, they did not.”

“Or his other testic – ”

“That’s enough, I told you I saw what he looked like afterwards” shuddered Splicer.

“Just want to make sure you understand how seriously the arrangement is taken. Neither heroes, nor villains, will rest for a moment until vengeance is achieved. And any truce-breaker caught by a hero or villain will STILL have gotten off easy compared to one caught by The Caseworker.”

“The warning is unnecessary, I have no intention of harming the boy. But it’s worth remembering to be very clear about that intention as I attend the meeting. Tell the Foundation that I agree to their terms.”

 

Chapter 2

The following day, Doctor Splicer entered the hospital through the employee entrance (old habits die hard, he reflected as he realized that he’d done so). He wandered absently down his old route, past Radiology and through the lab, to Oncology, and nodded in greeting to the janitor who was the only employee that had been there long enough to remember when the infamous supervillain had been just Eugene Splicer, a medical student who had been brilliant if unorthodox and socially awkward. At the nurse’s station, he asked which room Joey Fischer was in, and walked up to the door of room 212… then stopped, unsure for the first time in decades what to do next. Bedside manner had never been his forte, after all – research had always been where his talents and passion lay. Then he heard a voice from the room calling “Nurse? Is Doctor Splicer here yet? The Caseworker said he’d promised to come”, and an unexpected emotion, one he couldn’t name, filled him and propelled him forward before he knew what was happening.

“Yes, Joey, I certainly did. How are we feeling today?” He never knew why doctors asked this question, especially of terminal patients, but he also never knew why people said a lot of the things that they were just expected to say in particular situations.

The boy’s face lit up. “It IS you! Awesome! I’ve followed all the news stories about you! Your work with the sentient plants was SO COOL! And brilliant, how you got the cell walls to integrate into a brain-like matrix by altering just five key epigenetic factors! No one had even considered that remotely possible, and you just DID it!” Joey was practically bouncing in the hospital bed and grinning ear to ear, despite all the tubes connected to him and the obvious effort that breathing cost him.

“You… you were not upset that they destroyed ten city blocks? And tried to eat the Masked Vigilante? Most people were rather upset by that, I’m afraid.”

“Oh, that stuff wasn’t GOOD, of course, but research involves risk, and anyone can make a mistake dealing with unknown factors.”

“That’s what I said, but FEMA and the Marines did not agree.”

“Well, they’re not scientists, they wouldn’t get it.”

“Exactly, my boy, exactly! How refreshing to speak with someone who understands…”

 

Three hours later, the Doctor departed, again by his old route. But this time, he stopped at the lab, searched through some blood samples, and then when he found what he sought pocketed one of the vials that had already been processed (there would still be enough untainted genetic material for him to make a beginning, to clone more if needed for further experiments…)

 

Chapter 3

Six weeks later, the Masked Vigilante got an unexpected message. It said, simply, “I am at these coordinates. I need you to assist with an experiment. GS”

 

That evening, there was a sound of breaking glass as the Vigilante dove through the window and rolled to his feet, non-lethal but VERY powerful weapons at the ready… and then hesitated as he saw a figure with his head on his desk, his arms covering his head, surrounded by charts and monitors and vials and complicated glassware. The figure didn’t even raise his head, but quietly said “Thank you for coming. There’s something I need you to see.”

The Vigilante remained where he was, remarking “Forgive my hesitation to approach you, but last time you asked me to ‘assist with an experiment’ you had your Flesh Golems restrain me so you could take skin samples from me by force. THEN you tried to clone an army of me to take over the city. It took months for me to finally clean up the last of that mess.”

“Indeed, and I regret it now.”

“You do?”

“Certainly. I made several miscalculations that should have been obvious to me.”

“Ah”.

“I know where it went wrong, but I am no longer interested in repeating the experiment. Please look at this monitor” went on the doctor in a monotone, pointing with one hand at the screen while still covering his head with the other arm.

Approaching cautiously, the Masked Vigilante saw the double helix and recognized the pattern of a human white blood cell, probably juvenile and certainly cancerous. VERY cancerous.

“Leukemia? Not the usual kind, though, is it? Why did you make it?” he growled suspiciously.

“I didn’t. I want to UNmake it. And I can’t. There is a boy. A boy…” Dr. Splicer trailed off into silence, and then whispered “A boy who reminds me so much of my little brother Kyle. Back before…”

Realization dawned. “The Make-a-Wish kid? I was a bit surprised to hear about that. More surprised to hear that you showed up.”

Head still on the desk, the doctor wearily intoned “I have researched, and researched, and experimented with every substance I can think of, every genetic code I can think of, programmed viruses and bacterium to seek out and destroy the cancer cells, programmed cancer cells to self-destruct, pushed back the boundaries of knowledge in the field of oncology in the past few weeks. I can think of dozens of ways – HUNDREDS of ways – to kill the cancer cells, but none that can kill the cancer without killing the boy.”

“I’m… wow. Of course I sympathize, but I’m confused. Why would you ask me of all people for help? My knowledge of genetics is decent, but yours is unsurpassed. I mean, it’s literally your NAME. And I’ve put you in JAIL five times this year alone. AND broken your leg. Twice. And frankly, I specialize more in punching your creations than in decoding their chromosomal anomalies.”

Suddenly the Doctor’s head jerked up, and the normally stoic Vigilante flinched as Splicer howled “I know how to make an army of killer mutants, but I do not know how to stop one! YOU DO!” Shocked, the Vigilante realized that there were tears flowing freely down Doctor Splicer’s face as he begged “Help me. Help me stop the killers. Help me save the innocent. It’s what you do.”

 

After a full two minutes without moving or speaking, the Vigilante sighed deeply, and replied “You’ve been thinking about this in the wrong way.”

He sighed again as he said “We both have.”

 

Reaching to the touch screen, he turned the 3-dimensional image of the helix around as he said “Look at this cell. It was once a healthy cell. It was part of the whole. It performed its proper function. It maintained order and life.

But then something happened to it. Something broke it. Something made it unable to continue as it was. Something changed it into a thing that couldn’t fit in where it should be, couldn’t remain within the boundaries, became consumed with the hunger to dominate and take over the rest of the body. And attempts to kill it have only made its hunger and virulence greater. This is not an enemy that you CAN defeat by killing it.

So you must convert it.

You must find the switch that can change it back to a healthy cell. You must find the lever that restores it to its rightful function. You must give it the instructions it needs to be what it was supposed to be all along – a cherished member of the body, not an outcast trying to destroy it.

And you, Doctor Splicer, YOU must do it. I’ll do what I can to help you. But we both know that you must, and you can, and you WILL, be the one who makes it happen.”

There was another long silence, this time so drawn out that the Vigilante was about to ask whether Splicer had heard him, when suddenly Doctor Splicer leaped out of the chair and grabbed him before there was time to react… and then burst into sobs while hugging him. And hugging him, and sobbing, and hugging him, and sobbing, and soon to his horror the Vigilante was sobbing too as he hugged the Doctor back.

 

Chapter 4

“I can’t… I can’t BELIEVE that” muttered the Police Commissioner a year later.

“Believe it or not, it’s true, Commissioner”, replied the Masked Vigilante. “Doctor Splicer not only cracked the epigenetic puzzle that put Joey’s cancer in remission, he has been working tirelessly to do the same for EVERY kid at the hospital. I’ve literally had to be called in by hospital staff to physically restrain him and force him to get some sleep, and even then he won’t unless I promise to make sure the experiments continue while he’s out. I want to put in a word with his parole board, I truly think he's reformed. Or, at least, if not, he’s far too busy doing pro-social things to have any time for anti-social behaviors anymore.”

“It’s highly irregular, of course, but EVERYTHING about this town is. Sure, let’s talk to the board about him. Any word on the Icemaker case?”

“Oh, he’s actually been helping in the lab, Commissioner.”

“WHAT?!?!?!?!”

“Turns out his knowledge of cryogenics has been extremely valuable for this kind of research. And he was too terrified to refuse, frankly, because of what Doctor Gene threatened to do to him if he didn’t help.”

“What the HELL could scare the Icemaker? His brain doesn’t even HAVE an amygdala, he’s not capable of feeling fear!”

“Apparently that was one of the things that Doctor Gene changed about him. And apparently the serum can change anything else Doctor Gene chooses. For example, whether Icemaker continues to have a liver. Or two kidneys. Or two ears. OR whether he gets to keep his other testic – ”

“Yeah, yeah, I get the idea.” The Commissioner shook his head. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

Permitting himself a grim smile, the Masked Vigilante replied “And yet, day has come.”