While by my sheep...

A blinding flash - a beautiful, terrible Glory that burns, chills, hurts, heals all at once - an overwhelming Presence - a Voice that makes the earth tremble - All the host of heaven singing praise to YHWH (they spoke His Name aloud!) - and peace and goodwill to us - and then the impossible vision is gone and we are again surrounded by darkness and the stench of sheep. A moment of Silence, and we are running towards Bethlehem, our thoughts tripping over each other - Why here? Why now? Why us? - Wonder if the priests got a message like that? - Ha, wonder if the Romans are hearing that their tyranny is broken? - But the message said joy to all people - maybe Romans don't count - but then shepherds shouldn't count - not in this stable either - be up all night looking - never sleep again anyway if we don't find - The inn? Really? God is surely with us tonight! - and we are here, breathless and sore but here.

For this?

What is this? Yes, in a manger, wrapped in graveclothes - rather morbid for a childbirth - but an ordinary baby. The stink of donkeys - yes, and shepherds, I know - the parents, such plain, poor people - like us - such an unremarkable child after all - No. That unbearable Presence is here - No, ma'am, I couldn't - well, alright - I am holding a baby. I am remembering the last time I went to the Temple with Father - the lamb we slaughtered - why am I trembling so? - So should I play peekaboo with him or bow before him? Or – can it really be permitted, that I can simply hold Him? – Child, what are you? Why is it more terrible to look on this plain face than upon the Host of Heaven? And - yes, please take him, I am rough, I may - hurt - him - O God, did Jacob feel like this when he realized who he'd been wrestling with? - "All we like sheep have strayed, and ELOHIM has laid on him our iniquity " - why that? - A baby in graveclothes - the mother says she is a virgin?!? - I hope our sheep are okay, we didn't even stop to lock up - but when angels speak to shepherds, the angel's business comes first - I'm surprised, there's no royalty, no priests - even the innkeeper hasn't stopped to visit, can it be he doesn't know? - well, I wouldn't have known, either, without the message - Why wasn't he born into royalty or something? What can a carpenter do? - But that Presence - what can he not do? - and yet I feel, somehow, that he will be a shepherd. And I am afraid, because a good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep.

© John M. Munzer